are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
