I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
