You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
