Who wears a wallet chain?!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We need to get me chipped asap
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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