After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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