mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
