Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
