I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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