Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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