Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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