Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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