the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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