Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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