No stitches, just platelets and will power
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
