i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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