if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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