I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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