Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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