so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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