I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
