with your own penis?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
