Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
