Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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