How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
