When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
