Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
These tits shall not be calmed
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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