Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize