I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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