I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
