Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
