hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
