Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I die, sorry about rent.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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