i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
