You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
