Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
