If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
