you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
