Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My breasts were aching with rage.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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