If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
