a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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