their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I cannot find my penis.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
