No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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