Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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