I'm lost and stupid without you.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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