Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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