...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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