I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
