wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
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Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16