Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Lol no its called college

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  (216): Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER? (1-216): Lol no its called college http://tfl.nu/1cpq
  Replies (44) Good night (3514) Bad night (553)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.

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  (248): Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn. http://tfl.nu/n0iu
  Replies (8) Good night (3021) Bad night (681)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM

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  (561): i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM http://tfl.nu/acmo
  Replies (43) Good night (1313) Bad night (3974)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"

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  (603): got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes" http://tfl.nu/m7wu
  Replies (13) Good night (7623) Bad night (1012)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly

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  (443): She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly http://tfl.nu/4li6
  Replies (15) Good night (3763) Bad night (1376)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It usually does with you

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  (717): Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit (1-717): It usually does with you http://tfl.nu/9ly0
  Replies (6) Good night (4221) Bad night (908)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.

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  (613): you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there. http://tfl.nu/1v1m
  Replies (4) Good night (3274) Bad night (781)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate

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  (814): All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate http://tfl.nu/wczm
  Replies (1) Good night (1621) Bad night (829)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I booty called her while she was in labor.

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  (785): I booty called her while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/82pd
  Replies (19) Good night (1182) Bad night (6017)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night

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  (+44): Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night http://tfl.nu/u76q
  Replies (5) Good night (2111) Bad night (608)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.

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  (970): I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone. http://tfl.nu/5jkg
  Replies (7) Good night (468) Bad night (1426)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.

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  (405): Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk. http://tfl.nu/bh9n
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (229)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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  (309): I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to. http://tfl.nu/ueue
  Replies (10) Good night (645) Bad night (462)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat

  (818): View more from California

  You had me at first table

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  (210): First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat (818): You had me at first table http://tfl.nu/zwwm
  Replies (0) Good night (809) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago

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  (217): if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago http://tfl.nu/bg9i
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (181)

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