It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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