1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
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I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
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I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight