So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize