Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
