You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
