I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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