But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
