Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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