dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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